


The Secret (One Shot)

by downwith



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, British Actor RPF, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:45:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8579110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downwith/pseuds/downwith
Summary: Benedict is a life long friend of her family and specially her father. She has had an infatuation with him since she was younger. It's been years and suddenly he's seeing her in a whole different light.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a lot longer than my other works so it makes me excited. Please let me know what you think and thank you for reading!!

Today was the wedding of one of my fathers closest friends, being the good person he is, my father decided to organise the party in our house. A fact that i was so very grateful of. It was to take place in our garden, the space was small but big enough so that if someone wanted to find a private place to sit on, they would eventually find it. The twinkling lights that would later on make for a ‘starry’ night were up and the white tents with tables underneath were scattered all over the garden. 

The afternoon had just arrived and the sun was at its peak. I could hear voices in the lower floor, guests were already starting to arrive. I sat in my room, my mother helping me finish up with braiding a side of my hair. The final touch to my get up. 

“He’s coming, you know?” I heard my mother speak for the first time after a long but comfortable silence. 

“Who?” I asked in return, clearly not processing what she had just said. 

She laughed. “Don’t play coy with me. Who do you think?” 

It took me a minute, but after recalling a few conversations that we had over the last months, it finally dawned on me. 

“Benedict?”

She nodded at me through the mirror, a knowing smile on her face. 

Ben had been a family friend for years, specially to my dad. But one thing that needed to be pointed out is that i had feelings for him from the moment i met him. Only 14 back then. There was no denying that it was a teenage infatuation, gushing about him constantly to my mother who wouldn’t take it at all seriously, as it should be. I admired him, a smart kind man that whenever he spoke to me he did so in a way that made me feel important. He would never make me feel naive because of my age and gender (which was something i came across often enough to make me notice the difference). He listened to everything i had to say and poor teenage me was smitten to the core. 

But by the time i was 19, the man had gotten busy. Acting jobs kept popping up and with that, roles that required more of him. Five years had passed and the only times i had seen him were on the screen of devices or passing by a magazine stand. To say that I was sad was only an understatement, but as time passed it turned into something more similar to anger. I found myself resenting him for never keeping in touch with my family, particularly my father, without also denying the feelings that i had to overcome after not being close to him for so long. Today i felt less distraught and more or less unimpressed. 

“So, he decided to bless us with his holy presence.” 

My mother accidentally pulled a hair from my head. “Don’t be rude. You know he’s a busy man now.” 

I smiled, knowing that both my parents never truly stopped thinking highly of him. But that didn’t stop me from acting the way i did. 

“Can’t wait.” I said, using the same sarcastic tone as i had used before. 

She rolled her eyes at me, clearly disapproving of the way i was digesting the information. 

“Done.” My hair was finally in place and i looked at myself in the mirror, shocked at what a few make up tricks, styled hair and a dress would do. I felt beautiful. 

“Thank you.” I said to her as i got up and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. 

“Of course, now why don’t you go downstairs and help your father with the guests?” 

***

As the hours passed and more friends and family had settled in the house. The atmosphere felt happy and joyful as people said their greetings to people they had not seen in a long time, or maybe after only a weekend of being apart. 

Finally, i found myself chatting to a group of my closest friends, but my mind started to reel on to what my mother had said earlier that evening. It was then that i heard the door open once again. 

“Ah, Ben! So nice to see you at last my friend!” I heard my father say. I felt my heart skip a few beats as the sound of his name resonated in my ears and my mind made me realised that indeed that was him, once again. 

I watched as the man who i had once been infatuated with walked into the house, wearing a dark navy blue suit. I had no way to repress the tingling that i felt across my whole body. It was different, back then being only a teenage crush. But now, i saw him in a completely different light and i could appreciate him for what he was: a tall and attractive man who had definitely muscled up over the past years, maybe in tune to what his job required. Age had caught up on him a bit, but it didn’t change the green of his eyes or the sharpness of his cheekbones. I felt a whole new set of feelings that were so inherently different to what 19 year old me had felt. But the resentment was still seeping in as i saw my father greeting him.

“You’re drooling, doll.” I heard one of my friends say. She had a teasing smile, probably remembering our years as teenagers gushing about older men. 

I turned, smiling at her. “I don’t know what you mean.” I faked innocently. 

“I don’t blame you, he looks quite handsome.” I felt her looking over my shoulder, but i soon pushed her back before she made it obvious that we were staring at him. 

“He does. That bastard.” 

“Really doll? You can’t stay mad at him forever. Looks like your dad’s over it, doesn’t it?” 

She was right. I stared as my father was already laughing and teasing with him. A sweet smile spread on Benedict’s face, a part of me felt endeared while the other part of me was begging myself to keep it together. I wasn’t prepared to forgive him just yet. 

But then, as i was staring his gaze fell upon me and i watched as his mouth stopped short of a sentence. The eye contact soon made me feel exposed, like maybe it was too obvious that i was staring and now he would remember me for what i was: a girl completely infatuated by him. Because he knew right? There was no way he was oblivious to my cheeky antics when i was younger. But it didn’t happen, his stare looked like something i had never seen before and even as i was quite some distance away from him, when he broke the eye contact, i could tell he was stuttering out his words and apologising to my father. 

“He was practically undressing you with his eyes.” My friend said.

“You’re delusional.” I told her as my gaze dropped to the ground, a blush was creeping on to my face as i felt like an utter idiot. 

“The way he was looking at you…oh honey.” She pushed my chin up and made me look at her as she said the last part of her sentence. 

It took me some time to believe what she was saying, but then again, i did feel beautiful tonight and it made me tingle at the thought that he might have noticed that as well. 

Thats when i heard my name being called out. It was my father. 

I turned to look at him as he motioned to come over to where he was standing. I made it my mission to only look at him as I walked over to where he was. Finally when i was by his side did i truly look to Benedict. 

“You remember my daughter, yes? I’ll be here in a second, my wife will probably want to see you as well.” He then proceded to leave us alone. 

It was then that his eyes had grown a bit wider. “Oh, I apologize, I-“ he clearly had found the correlation of the fact that we made eye contact only a few seconds ago. “Hello, gosh you- i didn’t recognise you at first. I-“ Oh how had i forgotten the baritone of his voice. Even when he was a stuttering mess i found the tone absolutely hypnotising. 

“Hi, Benedict. Its been a while.” I said, confidence oozing out of my words. Something that surprised even me. 

For a moment i couldn't believe how could i have ever felt intimidated in his presence, standing here in front of him with the way he was looking at me. I felt powerful.

“It has. I can see that now.” There was something in his voice. Something that made the air around us feel dense. 

“5 years can be a long time.” I said, a sarcastic tone erupting from me. The slight anger surfacing again. 

His eye brows formed in to a frown but there was a smirk on his face. Surprise evident in his features. 

“Apparently so.” He said, more to himself. 

A small silence was starting to surge as he spoke again “Hows…” he looked deep in thought and directly in to my eyes, evidently figuring out how to continue the conversation. "… school?” 

I giggled at his attempt. “Graduated a few years ago.”

“Of course you did.” He said, amused at himself and with a self deprecating tone. 

I was about to speak again, and tell him and ask him everything i wanted to for years. But then I heard my mother approaching, saying Benedict’s name and proceeding to hug him. After a few minutes of catching up, my mother finally turned to look at me and then back at him.

“Only now that i see you two together do i realise how much my sweet has grown up.” She put her arm around me, evidently enjoying the fact that the man i had talked to her so many times about was right there in front of me. 

I rolled my eyes and soon after i heard Benedict chuckle, which made me look at him “She has, hasn’t she?” There was a teasing tone that made me cock a brow at him. There he was. 

“The tables are set and the bride and groom will be arriving soon. You should sit with us, Ben.” How convenient. 

She walked away soon after, leaving us once again. Air too thick between us both.

“After you.” He said, motioning with his hand that had a golden watch attached to his wrist. He was grinning, as if he knew the punchline of a joke i hadn’t truly understood yet. But i felt i would soon. 

***

My stomach hurt in a pleasing way as the people at my table, including my parents and of course Benedict, talked about their experiences as struggling actors. Stories filled with horrible jokes and embarrassing experiences that had everybody laughing, looking back with euphoric nostalgia. 

I commented every once in a while, but i never considered myself a good raconteur, so i left it to the experts. 

Having Benedict sit across from me and having his presence so close was intoxicating. He was glowing with crinkly eyed laughs, forehead a bit sweaty from the intense effort to hold back howling laughter that he most often hid with the back of his hand. 

I couldn't help but stare every time he would start telling a story all gesticulative hands, imitating voices and getting a little sidetracked, probably making the story longer than it had to be. Benedict was a ridiculous, endearing man and it made me angry how easily i fell back into his spell. 

He would catch me staring every once in a while. But then, so did i. Whenever i would laugh at something he had said, a proud smile would spread on his face as he watched. Sometimes i would keep eye contact, basking in his attention. 

It reminded me of when i was younger and how i would feel whenever we talked and his eyes would never leave my face, always listening carefully to what i had to say. 

“Isn’t that right Ben?” My dad asked, one of the times his eyes had lingered on my face. 

He snapped his head towards my father quickly enough before others noticed why he was out of it. 

“Sorry?” 

“Wine getting to your head my friend?”

“Not quite.” he chuckled. 

He looked immediately down but then discretely back at me. I felt nervous for the first time that night, staking a piece of hair behind my ear. 

I needed some air.

“Speaking of, where did you hide the special wine for us dad?” I spoke up. Trying to excuse myself for a second. 

Immediately after there was a backlash of the table bantering about how i wanted to end up dozed up. So the only thing i could do was laugh and roll my eyes. 

“It’s in the downstairs cellar. But its quite high up, i’ll help you.”

As i was about to protest over how i could definitely take care of it myself. I heard Benedict’s voice.

“Please. Allow me.” He said, buttoning up his suit as he stood up. 

Fantastic. 

I glanced at my mother, who was directing a very suspicious glare at him, he remained oblivious to it. 

I kept walking downstairs towards the cellar, knowing he was a few steps behind me. I was too afraid to look back. As we arrived, i switched on the lights that barely helped and resulted in to dimly lit atmosphere. 

“Been a long time since i looked at this place. Not a thing has changed.” He said, breaking the silence that hovered over us as i looked through the cabinets. 

“Didn’t have to be so long.” I couldn’t stop myself. 

I had wanted to confront him but now it felt too much of an exaggeration and i was scared to do it. I didn’t even look back to see his reaction but i could tell he was taken aback. 

“I spent a lot of time wanting to visit your family.”

“And why didn’t you?”

“I-I couldn’t , I was-“

“Busy?” I finally turned to look at him. 

“Very much so.” He gave me a worried smile. “But I’m here now aren’t i?"

“A simple message i think would do. My father cares for you and it has been horrible to see him unaware of how you’re doing.” 

“Right, I’m sorry…” He said, as he walked over to me and stood just a few feet away. 

Feelings of guilt spread through me when i thought of the fact that Benedict had indeed been very busy with his job.

But as i looked deep in thought a mischievous look suddenly took over his features. “Are you certain this is just about your father?” 

I glanced at him, bewildered by his question. “Meaning?” Oh, but only seconds after, i understood. 

“Nothing. Forget i asked.” 

I turned my back to him, we walked for a few minutes as i searched for that bottle that was much needed at this precise moment.

A feeling of realisation dawned on me as i thought about what he’d just asked. He was right, maybe it wasn’t even about my father but more of a spoiled girl missing the attention of the man who was always there. 

“I missed you.” I said, before i could stop myself. “We weren’t exactly close, but i still did.” I turned to see him.

“Beg your pardon?” A grin was slowly setting on his mouth.

“Oh, please don’t make me say it again.” Embarrassed already, i rolled my eyes at him. 

He laughed a crinkly eyed laugh that resounded deep from his stomach. 

“Didn’t think you would.” He lifted up his hand and touched the bottom of my chin as he spoke, but only slightly and quickly. "That’s very sweet of you.” 

“Dont patronize me Ben.” 

“Oh come on, that wasn’t…” His voice a higher pitch than normal. 

“No? Mind if i do it?” I asked, lifting my arms and attempting to do the move he just pulled on me. But i was interrupted. 

He grabbed on to my wrist, chuckling. “Oh no, you don’t”

I smiled as i had proven my point but soon i was overcome by the closeness of us. 

“You’ve changed. You…” I saw something different in his eyes, pondering. The gulp he did was loud enough for both of us to hear. 

I was hypnotised, by the way he was looking at me and. I felt myself quickly let go of the resentment that had been stuck in a corner of my being for so long. 

“Good change, Ben?” I smiled. I was eager to know what he was thinking. Eager to be near him. 

His eyes turned to each of my eyes. The question catching him off guard. His mouth half open in surprise. 

“I think you know the answer to that.” 

If the air felt dense before, I had no way to describe the atmosphere and how it had escalated to something that was leaving me breathless and weak. 

The opening of the cellar door and the light that poured in blinding the both of us was enough to separate us quickly enough. 

“Find it?” I hear my dad shout the question. 

Not trusting my own voice, i just stared as Benedict smiled and replied to him. “We did. We’ll be up in a bit.” 

I watched as he suddenly reached down to grab on to a bottle, the one we happened to be looking for. Had he known that was it for this whole time? 

***

It was maddening, to act as if nothing had happened. So i didn’t do much effort in doing so. Once we had returned, only two seats together had remained vacant so we had to take our places side by side. 

I could tell the guests were starting to speculate how we were acting and i could tell my mother was sending eye menacing glances towards me, but specially him. I gladly decided to ignore them, enjoying too much the way that Benedict would turn to tell or whisper clever comments in my ear with the purpose of making me laugh. It reminded me of how things were years ago, the confidence in which he and i would talk about the most trivial things and still make an interesting conversation out of it.

Oh how i missed been near him, but this felt like an entirely different type of closeness that was as intoxicating as the wine.

It was only as night had started to fall that i started worrying about what my father might have thought. If he even did think about it at all. I would stare closely at him and it made me laugh on the inside, how oblivious he was to all that had been happening. Clearly my father trusted Benedict a whole lot. 

***  
Hours later, when the bride and groom had left, the guests had started to leave as well. After making sure everything was in order me and my mother retired to our rooms. Only my father and his friends had remained in the kitchen, probably still inebriated. 

I wish I could say i fell asleep as soon as i fell on my bed, but that wasn’t the case. My mind kept bursting with images of Benedict, the way he had smiled and laughed, the way he kept pulling his hair in to place with his hand, how his eyes would close shut every time he was laughing too much. Above all, i kept thinking of what he had done in the cellar and the look he had given me. 

I decided to go downstairs and get me a glass of water as so many drinks had me parched.

As i approached the kitchen i saw him. Siting on a stool and arms settled on the kitchen counter with his phone in hand. 

“What are you doing here?” I said, thinking and saying the exactly same thing. 

“Christ.” He put his arm around his heart, clearly surprised. Proceeding to explain shortly after. “Your father thought i was too intoxicated to drive off. He was kind enough to let me stay in the guest room.” His voice was rough, hours of talking and laughing evidently took a toll on him. 

“Oh. Right.” My voice sounded weak after a few hours of not speaking at all. 

“What are you doing up at this hour? It’s a bit late for you isn’t it?” Although i couldn't see him, as i searched for the glasses, i could practically hear the teasing smile on his face. 

Scoffing, i spoke again. “Im not a child, Ben.” 

“Aren’t you?” 

Maybe it was the late hours or maybe it was my actual ego acting up, but i was being a lot more difficult than usual. 

“Goodnight Benedict.” I said and was about to walk off. 

“Wait. M’sorry alright?” He grabbed hold of my hand, stopping me while he was still sitting on the stool. He was chuckling, probably at how easily i had become offended.

But as i turned to look at him, his eyes fell to my hand a thumb running up and down my wrist. A simple gesture that made goosebumps appear on my skin. 

He spoke quietly. “Know you aren’t. Been trying to convince myself of the opposite.” 

“I don’t think you’re doing a very good job.” I smiled nervously and he mirrored mine in response. 

There was no denying how fast the electricity started to surge between us as he pulled me closer with his hold on my hand. 

I couldn't help but stare at his neck and how strong and long it was. Breathing was proving to be a lot harder as his scent of vodka mixed with cologne made its way down my lungs. 

“Had me struggling to keep my eyes off you all day.”

I had found my way in between his spread legs, such proximity was bound to make me lose my mind in seconds.

“Then don’t. I didn’t.” 

"Why?”

“Why what?”

“You’re so young, so beautiful. I’m just -“

Oh, he had no idea. It shocked me that even if the whole world was telling him how much of an amazing, smart and talented man he was. Ben was as modest as he had always been. And if i wanted him before, i didn’t know what to call what i felt at that precise moment. 

“You are amazing Ben. I’ve wanted you for the longest time.” I tossed my around on top of his shoulders, tired of not being close enough. 

“Have you?” There was a smug smile i had never seen before that made my stomach twist with excitement. 

I felt his hand raise up and grab on to my neck, his thumb caressing my cheeks

“Mhm” I barely whimpered as my breathing faltered as he angled his lips against mine but barely touching them. 

When he finally parted my lip against his, i had to stop myself from exhaling a drawn out moan. So many times had i pictured kissing this lips that now it felt as if i was dreaming. As to remember myself that this was actually him i grabbed on to his hair and he automatically responded with a groan that left me breathless against him. His hands instantly dropping on to my waist and pressing my body against his. 

“Trying to get us in to trouble aren’t you?” He breathed against my neck and then continued to leave wet kisses down to neck. His hand falling on to the thin strip of my night gown and he discretely moved it down against my arm. Shudders waking on my skin as his skin graced mine. 

A thrill like I’ve never known before crept up my spine and made a moan erupt from my mouth. His mouth making me weaker by the second. I found my way over him and settling on to his lap. We kissed again, feverishly and desperate for contact that had been clearly suppressed all day. 

My lips found their way down his neck and near his ear and I heard a harsh exhale leave his mouth. “Darling, OH…n-not here.” I continued, too entranced with tasting his skin, a kiss on weak spot made him instantly grab on to my waist with force and tense up. 

“Oh, I- Im sorry.” I said. Maybe he didn’t want this to happen as much as i did. 

But oh was i wrong. 

“No, no!” He sounded so very eager, it made me smirk. “I- I meant not here, as in the kitchen. I-“ 

As i continued to giggle he hid his embarrassed face on the top of my shoulder. 

“Where?” I finally asked, once he started to trace his lips down to where my nightgown strap should have been. 

“Anywhere. I beg you.” He said too close to my ear and it made my eyes roll back. “Just want you close.” 

“Third door to the right. Wait 10 seconds after i go up.” 

“Is that…” His eyes widened. “Is that your room?” 

“Guest room.” I smiled and kissed him again, desperate to have him close gain. But he pulled away to speak again. 

“But, your parents. Your father…” 

“They’re all the way across the hall.” I finally said.

***  
A few minutes later i had arrived to the guest room, i heard the door open once again. 

“This isn’t appropriate. Im- “ I heard him say once he closed the doors behind me. 

“Only now do you notice?” I chuckled as i put my arms around him again. 

We kissed an i starting pushing against his chest, making him drop against the bed. 

I crawled until i was on top of him. His face was dimly lit by the light of the moon outside but i could notice that he was looking me in such awe that it made my pulse rise up. 

“Christ. You are beautiful -“ His breath clearly running out. “Please, don’t let your parents hear this."

“Then be quiet.” I said very close to his lips, a triumphant smile on my face. 

“Don’t think i can. Been thinking about you all day.” 

Never had i thought those words would come from him, but right then i wanted him to say them to me over and over again. 

“You don’t know how many times i’ve thought about you as well.” I couldn't help but nip aggressively at his bottom lip. My hips had began to move unconsciously, seeking some type of friction that would relieve the tension building up inside me.

“Yeah Darling? Thought about us like this?” His voice had never sounded so deep, maybe partly because of how sore his throat was, but it was still the most beautiful, erotic sound. 

“A lot.” It came out as barely a whisper, but my tone was enough to make him realise indeed how many times had he crossed my mind. How many times had i wished to trace my hands up and down his chest and tug on to his hair, as i was doing right at that instant. 

He jumped at my comment, evidently noticing the meaning behind it. “Filthy girl.” His heat started gracing up against me and it made me moan out in surprise and him let out a hushed curse. 

“Shh, Darling. Be quiet for me. Yeah?” He whispered. 

I couldn’t help as a moan bursted out when his hand rose up my body and found their way to my covered breast, where he grabbed and groped in ways that made my mind dizzy and desperate to have him do it underneath the cloth that felt too thick in that moment. 

As worried as he said he was about getting caught, the way he was touching, kissing and feeling had me thinking he had wanted to make the task harder for both of us. 

“Benedict. Please, take me.” I whispered against his lips, the heat too much to bare any longer. 

“I c-cant … I-“ 

“I want you. So badly.“

“You have no idea. How much…” His sentence was cut off as i accidentally let out a loud whine, the gracing of the thin silk of my undergarments and his trousers driving me insane. 

He continued shortly after. “But you’re being quite loud my love. Cant let your father catch me deep inside his precious girl can we?” 

The sentence was filled with filthy words that made my eyes close shut. The thought of him doing exactly what he had said, having him inside and hitting all the spots as i had thought about countless times. Absolute torture. 

It made me think about all the times i wanted to have my way with him after this night. Oh the times and the places that i would let that man take me in anyway he pleases. 

He grabbed on to my waist, guiding me to a pace that had us both panting for air. “Keep doing that. Oh, Christ.” 

“Benedict, Im close.” 

“Are you? Let me watch you. Please.” 

All i could do was nod against him as i fought for the air that was no longer serving any use for my lungs. Our foreheads touching and his eyes looking directly in to mine, pupils blown wide. 

“So am I, Darling. You’re absolutely killing me ..”

When the moment came and i was hitting against me in just the right spot i felt myself tense up. Benedict sensed it as well an immediately crashed his lips against me, desperate to keep me quiet. 

Few seconds later and a few hushed curses and mentions of my name, i felt him release in the constraints of his trousers and a groan vibrated its way from his throat and up to my mouth, rumbling against my own chest. 

Our breathing was shallow and he was resting his head against my chest. Holding to me so close, so tight and i was thankful for it, because without it i would have slipped from his arms already a trembling, weak mess. 

A knock on the door suddenly disturbed the comfortable silence we had built and turned it into absolute panic. 

“Benedict mate, are you alright in there?” It was my father. 

I rose up from him and watched as he stood up, slid his hand trough his now unruly hair that i messed with the tight hold i had on it and buttoned up his shirt that i had undone the second he came inside the room. 

I threw the covers that were thick enough to hide my form over me and hoped for the less horrible of the outcomes as i heard Benedict open the door. 

“Is something the matter?” 

“Sounded like you were in pain.” 

“I am. Knocked myself out with the shelf as i was getting in to bed.” I could hear his nervous gulp even from my distance. “I’m alright, really.” 

“Alright then. See you in the morning Ben.” 

“Yes, of course. Sleep Well.” 

I heard as he shut the door and let out a puff of air that he was probably holding in from the moment my father knocked on the door. A hand of his was holding to a chunk of hair at the top of his head. 

I waited until i had heard my fathers door close shut to speak again. “And you say i am the loud one.” A teasing smile spread across my face as he walked over to the bed once again. 

“Want to test that theory love?” 

It was then that i decided, maybe i could stay a bit more. This man has been a part of my life for so long and now that i had him this way, i wasn’t sure i ever wanted to stop being near him.


End file.
